Tips for parents before, during and after exams

Exam stress can have lasting effects on health like causing both physiological effects like high blood pressure and psychological harm like depression. You can follow these steps to reduce your and your child’s stress:

• Make sure your child has a comfortable and quiet place to work and study. If you cannot provide such an environment at home, let them go to a library or to a neighbourhood friend’s house to study.
• Try to avoid nagging your child as it can cause them to lose focus. Let them decide the number of hours they want to spend studying or sleeping.
• Try to avoid fighting with your child or scolding them, as this builds extra pressure on them.
• Try to create a support system: don't turn on the TV too loud, maybe even turn off the notifications on your phone if your child is studying in the same room.
• Let your child use a music device or pace back and forth as they study if they feel that they can study better like that.
• Being nervous is a natural reaction to exams. Do not panic and remind your child that it's normal to feel a little worried, too. 
• Encourage your child to exercise for at least half an hour every day. You should exercise with your child to relieve your stress as well as your child’s.
• If you and your child prefer to do yoga, try incorporating the Sudarshan Kriya and Pranayam - especially Ujjayi breathing - in your routine. A research paper published in the International Journal of Yoga in 2012 found that three to six weeks of yoga practice reduced exam stress and cholesterol levels in engineering students.
• Research shows that exam stress can reduce one's immunity, opening them up to a host of infections from the common cold to more serious ailments. It is therefore important to be extra cautious about one's health during exam time. Try to make sure your child eats enough fruits and vegetables and avoids binge-eating and caffeine to beat stress.
• Feed your child foods rich in Omega-3 fatty acids like walnuts, almonds, sunflower seeds, flaxseeds as they help in boosting memory and improve concentration. Some fish, like salmon and tuna, also provide Omega-3 fats.

Herbs like Brahmi, Mandukparni and Ashwagandha are said to reduce stress and improve memory. You could give your child these herbs in the form of milkshakes or mixed in their smoothies with yoghurt. That said, don't pick a fight with your child over these if he or she does not want to consume these herbs during exam prep.

• Many students experience symptoms of stomach upset and nausea before a big exam. This happens as a result of anxiety. Ask your doctor to recommend a suitable prebiotic, probiotic or medicines to take before exams begin, as this could help some students. And avoid drinking too much coffee on exam day.
• Avoid big lunches and dinners, to keep drowsiness at bay.
• Offer head massage with oils like Bhringraj oil to reduce stress to your child. Once again, do not force these on your child if he or she does not want a head massage.
• Unfortunately, some children start taking medicines like Adderall to stay awake and focused before exams. These drugs have many side-effects, including increased anxiety, insomnia or loss of sleep, loss of appetite, nausea, dizziness and headaches. If you notice any of these symptoms in your child, talk to them and explain the dangers of taking these medicines without a prescription - not just in the long terms but also in the short-term

Here are a few things you can do for yourself:

• Exercise and meditate to stay calm and focused.
• Eat healthily: remember, if there is no junk food in the house, your child won't be as tempted either. Which is good, both for their digestion and their ability to focus.
• Get adequate sleep and encourage your child to do so, too. Sleep deprivation is known to affect the mind's ability to focus and solve problems. 
• Offer to draw up a schedule with your child - complete boring tasks you have been putting off for a while to show moral support.

Read more: Ayurvedic remedies for anxiety

This is a crucial time for your child, you can follow these tips in order to help your child during this time:

• Remind them to get all their equipment (pens, pencils, etc.) ready the evening before the exam.
• Make sure they get enough sleep and advise them to go to bed early. Do not force your decision on them.
• Do not stress out about your child’s exam early in the morning. Ask them a night before, if they want to be woken up early in the morning.
• After they wake up, give them a healthy breakfast. Do not overfeed them or else they might feel drowsy in the exam hall. Make sure they drink enough water - dehydration can cause headaches and irritability.
• Before your child leaves for the exam hall, encourage them and tell them that you are proud of them regardless of how they do in their exam.
• If you are driving your child to the test centre, make sure you do so calmly and with adequate time left for your child to be able to find their exam room and settle down before the exam begins.
• Do not nag your child by asking them "how their exam went", time and again. This might build performance pressure on them.
• If they do not perform as per their expectations, do not let them get disheartened. Encourage them to perform better in the next one.

Things you can do for yourself during your children's exams:

• Remind yourself that your children did all the prep they could, and are primed to do their best in the exam hall.
• Try to talk to friends and family to relieve stress.
• Try not to wait idly outside the exam hall if you are picking up your child afterwards; instead, engage in brisk walking in a neighbourhood park or do light exercises. This will help to take your mind off things and also improve your blood circulation and mood so you can greet your child with greater equanimity when they come out - remember, children can read your face and know when you are stressed out, too.
• If a lot of your friends' children are writing exams at the same time, try going on a digital detox to avoid getting overwhelmed by their exam news and blues on social media. Instead, try connecting with people face-to-face and talk to people you trust about any anxiety you might have.

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Helps deal with stress and anxiety and provides good sleep.

These are the tips you can follow after your child’s exam are over:

• After the end of the exams, don’t keep asking your child how the exams went. You should give your child the choice to talk about how they have done only if they want to.
• If they feel disappointed on comparing their performance with their friends, encourage them not to dwell on mistakes they feel they have made until the results are out.
• To relieve their pressure, you can share your exam experiences. This may reassure them a bit.
• Remind your child that these exams are not the end but a beginning of another phase of life.
• Let them voice their worries, expectations and future plans. Even if you disagree with any of it, do not lash out immediately. Talk about it patiently.
• Celebrate the end of exams by giving them an end-of-exam treat.
• If there is another set of exams coming up soon - entrance tests or interviews for universities in India or abroad - make a conscious effort to focus on preparing for the future rather than ruminating on the results of tests past.

Here are some things you should do for yourself and your children:

• Avoid talking about last year's results and cut-offs: you won't know where you stand till the results come out. And there is no use building up expectations or running down your children's hopes in the meantime.
• Focus on well-being for you and your child. Now that exams are over, you could sign up for an activity together or go on a family trip.
• Disengage yourself from conversations that upset you: these could be well-meaning neighbours asking about exams or marvelling at the high scores these days. The rule of thumb is that if it makes you anxious without any foreseeable benefit, change the topic or leave as soon as possible.

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