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Let’s first get something straight - not all women are wired the same so all women don’t want the same things, in bed or otherwise. This won’t be an answer key that you can read and immediately think that you’ve figured out all women. 

This isn’t about fantasies and kinks - you’ll have to actually do that work yourself by communicating with your partner. And even then - some women may be hesitant in sharing that information with you, maybe because they fear being judged or changing your opinion of them.

So you’ll have to first earn their trust and assure them of your open-mindedness on the subject to have them feel comfortable enough to maybe talk about it. 

Until you get there, here are some basic things that most women would like more of in bed:

  1. Good hygiene
  2. Willingness to learn
  3. Open dialogue
  4. Safety
  5. Verbal cues
  6. Foreplay
  7. Orgasms
Doctors for sexual disorders and issues

No one wants to get in bed with someone who isn’t hygienic, right? Well, women are the same. They just want someone who takes care of themselves, trims their nail, keeps them clean, washes their hands, brushes their teeth, has clean sheets, bathes regularly, the works. It’s not a lot, really. Just makes for better and safer sex - and will probably reduce the chances of getting an infection

(Read more: Oral hygiene tips)

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Just because you’ve had sex before and know what your previous partners liked doesn’t mean that you’ll know what your future partners will like. As we said, every woman is different and will have different likes and dislikes. Don’t get defensive if she says she doesn’t like something you do in bed that others seemed to like - she probably knows her body better than you do. You can ask her about the things she likes and wishes to try. Be open to learning about her body and her erogenous zones to make the experience as amazing for her as it may have been for you. 

(Read more: Common mistakes during sex)

Sex is something that needs more conversation around it to make it better. Don’t shy away from it - it’s not shameful or disgusting to be talking about things you like to do in bed. Talk about your sexual health, when you were last tested for a sexually transmitted infection, etc. Even during sex, everyone should feel comfortable enough to speak their mind - whether it’s to ask your partner to stop, pause or keep going. 

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Safety is, of course, an important need in bed. Women want to feel safe with their partner, know that nothing horrible will happen to them while they’re with you. They want to be able to trust you. They also want another kind of safety - safe sex. Unless they’re planning a baby or there has been a discussion about alternative methods of protection, they want condoms. It doesn’t mean there is a lack of trust, they just care about their sexual health and want to make that a priority. And if their partner thinks of it first, they feel even more cared for. 

(Read more: Birth control methods)

Just like women want you to learn about their bodies, likes and dislikes, they also want to learn about you and what you like. But they also want you to use your words instead of just pushing their head there. Ask nicely, and it may be better received than a push and a shove. They aren’t mindreaders. Also, show appreciation occasionally, when you like what they're doing. It can be encouraging and give them more confidence, especially if they're trying something new. 

(Read more: How to have safe sex)

Foreplay is important for good, pain-free sex - scientifically speaking. It is during foreplay that women get aroused and their body provides natural lubrication which makes penetration easier. Without any lubrication, there can be an increased risk of painful intercourse, vaginal abrasions and tears. Foreplay also adds to the pleasure women feel, which will improve the whole experience for both of you.

(Read more: Lubricants: Benefits and side effects)

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The orgasm gap is very real. A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour said that straight, bisexual and lesbian women only orgasm 65%, 66% and 86% of the time, respectively. You can see the gap when you compare those statistics to straight, bisexual and gay men, who orgasm 95%, 88% and 89% of the time, respectively.

So, to put it simply, most women would like more orgasms in bed. And they would appreciate if their partner could help them get there.

(Read more: How to reach orgasm)

Dr. Hakeem Basit khan

Dr. Hakeem Basit khan

Sexology
15 Years of Experience

Dr. Zeeshan Khan

Dr. Zeeshan Khan

Sexology
9 Years of Experience

Dr. Nizamuddin

Dr. Nizamuddin

Sexology
5 Years of Experience

Dr. Tahir

Dr. Tahir

Sexology
20 Years of Experience

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